Thursday, August 6th 2009

Hey ya!

Oh it's been such a crazy Bday, KE-RE-ZY!! My hair is totally messed up now for good, after I had stopped by the Hair Stylist yesterday...pah! Someone asked me today if I was from Afghanistan! What? So I went back to the Stylist store, very very angry - and whoop, they gave me my money back. Good. Oh and I went crazy on summer sale. Bought six, yes six summer dresses...haha. My summer is endless.

But why do I tell you all this? Actually funnier things happened... like Chris' and Skeeter's Bachelor/ette Party. It was hillarious, I'm telling ya... oooh, some of you will see the pictures. If you have seen "The Hangover" you will be able to imagine what I'm speaking of.

So tomorrow it'll be my night out with all my superfunny friends... I think it will be awesome. Georgetown is always awesome. Oh yeah and on Tuesday I'll be going to a Hippie Festival... I'm looking forward to that!

Nothing "deep" today.... haha. Just regular stuff happening. I'm not thinking too much at the moment... Going back to work is more complicated than I thought and that stresses me out A LOT!  Tomorrow I will have a meeting with the owner of the school (Ah!) and then hopefully they will have me back on Monday. It's about time!!

So yeah, go to summer sale and go crazy or something or come and join me at the Hippie Festival! It will be fun, trust me.

Have a good night and smile a little. Smiling is good for the heart.

All my loving. Nikki

Monday, August 3rd 2009

Good evening,

I'm back  : )

I'm almost feeling like my good old self again, which means I'm doing good. I told ya, I heal very easily. Just have to make sure to stay away from complicated situations at the moment and take really good care of myself. Just being more careful would help too, I think.

 But don't worry, I will not hide. I'll still be rocking and rolling with ya! A friend of mine reminded me on friday that life should not be complicated if we can avoid it. I thought about it and it makes a whole lot of sense. Yeah I know; we will never be able to avoid every difficultie in life, but if we have a choice between easy and hard, maybe we should choose the way that feels  good (easier) to us. The thing is that making a choice can kill you as well. I have been thinking about this a lot - being torn inbetween two things can make you very ill. It was heartbreaking for me when I chose one of the "ways".

I don't know, maybe we have to go trough tough stuff to grow and become more open minded people.

Stuff like that definitely teaches us lessons and makes us stronger, as long as we keep believing that we can make it through. You and me, we can make it. And if your faith is fading, then go ahead and ask a friend ; he will help you through. Friends will be there, no matter what.

If you ever need me, no matter why or what for - please and I mean it when I say this: Please talk to me and let me help you out. I will be there; I want to give some of the love that I have received. That's my word for the day  ; )

Anyway .... Pray to the great spirit that this summer will last for a long time. I really do LOVE it. Hopefully and I really really hope so; I can go back to work this week!

Have a great night. With lots of Love.

Nikki

Thursday, July 30th 2009

This is what I think today:

If you take advantage of someone's true feelings just because you can't resist, you do the worst you could ever do to a human soul.  But the real offense is to walk away and leave it broken.

We all do mistakes, that's not the point. It's about having the courage to stay and look at the damage; and try to fix it. There is no excuse. Everything can be fixed in some way. It can.

I just saw the new Coldplay video "Strawberry Swing" and thought it was absolutely fantastic!

I'm listening to one of my very favorite Beatles songs right now; "Across the Universe". IThis song makes me feel happy and peaceful .... Sounds of laughter shades of earth are ringing through my open views; Inciting and inviting me. Limitless undying Love, which shines around me like a million suns; it calls me on and on across the universe. Jai Guru Deva om....

Make sure to always fix the things you break before you leave; and that everything is in peace before you close the door. 

Don't just exist and focus on yourself; be a true friend.

Pax vobiscum.

Nikki

Wednesday, July 29th 2009

Good evening, summer children. Greetings!

Ah, I'm well. How are you?

I'm kind of busy getting stuff together to go back to work etc.  Tomorrow I'll take the car to the shop, have to talk to the insurance, get a rental car and after that I'll have to stop by the doctor. Thanks to all the people who keep on coming by and keep on checking on me  ; )  I appreciate it a lot, even that I don't want YOU to worry that much anymore! But it's nice to have company anyway. I'm doing good; just being myself. Keeping it low, lol.

I saw "Bruno" and arrrgh... it was disappointing if you ask me. After "Borat" I expected something really great, especially because I really like Sacha Baron. The movie had such a weak story line, the actor was trying to be ueber-gay (which totally bored me) and wanted to "shock" the audience by pornographic scenes *yawn*. And I believe that 70% of the happenings were fake. I have to admit that some scenes really made me laugh though - especially the thing with the cage-fight was hilarious. But it might be that because I am from Europe and grew up with naked people swimming in the lake "next door", that most of the silly events left me confused and bored. If you have those 11 bucks left over and really want to see Bruno, then go. If not, you could just wait until it's available at the Red Box for $1.

I did not tell my family about any of the current events and they really don't need to know about it anyway. They would only worry and drive themselves crazy. I think I have made them worry enough within the past century (nah, I'm not really THAT old).

Oh and I have new patio furniture... it's sooo nice to sit out there in the evening. I have to buy more candles and  hope it'll stay that warm for a looong time!

Well... I'm going to bed and hope that YOU are well and safe too. Keep it shining.

With Love. Nikki

Monday, July 27th 2009

Guten Tag, Hello and Bonjour!

I got a lot of rest today which was really good. Blueberries, Cherries and Strawberries for Breakfast along with some Korean coffee cake... yum.  It's good to have time to recover, heal and to time to think. It's been so turbulent these past two month and now I feel like I'm re-charging my batteries again. It is still summer, my favorite time of the year... green trees, warm sun, time to be outside.

I saw my friend Julia and we had a good talk, spent some time outside. I cannot wait to go to the "Kings of Leon" concert with her in September. Their music just sticks to my head like glue. It is the lead singer's voice and some of their song lyrics that hit me right in the heart.

I am trying to reflect what happened lately and how I got here ... I found some answers, but I'm not trying to stress myself about it. It is what it is right now and I have realized that some things might not have been what I thought they were. But for right now it is OK. It's never too late to start something new. Something that brings the best out of ourselves and gives us the inspiration to be brave and who we really are. A thing that gives us the feeling that we are special and not easy to let go. I am not sad at all, it is the insight that counts. It starts right there ... and if we hang on to it and stop being scared of everything and anything, we might be able to follow a dream.

What do YOU dream about?

Much Love. Nikki

Sunday, July 26th 2009

Waaahh - July, my craziest month in 2009 so far. Wow.... I'm still standing! Oh wait, I'm standing again.

I'm back. I'm here, I'm doing it my way again. Back to the bright side ... Well, I don't know what else to say than "My loved ones; Thank you!"  Thank you for your intense love and giving me the feeling that I am safe, needed and important. Thanks fot untwisting my mind and anger and for reminding me of who I really am and what life is about. There is no pain that can last forever if you give people a chance to put their love into your soul.

I'm in love with the people that surround me, that pass through and put all their heart into making this crazy mind of mine well. Everyone of them - who show me the beauty of patience, selflessness, true caring and how to become better. Who teach me small things as to be calm, in love, fair, positive as well as thought- and careful.

I am sorry. I slipped - I don't mean I "just" slipped. It was one serious, big mistake that you do when you get angry with yourself and life: You close your eyes and stop listening to what wise people around you say. I regret my action and am truly saddened about the pain and fear I have caused. I'm going to fix and repair a lot of things. It left its marks, but I will do more and I promise to love even harder. And to be wiser and smarter and to not close my eyes to see what's real - never again.

And yeah, I've crashed my car today! Puuhh.... for real. I mean, come on! I am well, but it does suck so bad. I love this little bug and it's been the best car I've ever had.One second, just one. And yeah I'm a little worried about the costs that I'll have to cover in these coming weeks... arrrgh. Hospital bills and Deductible for the accident or even some more stuff. But you know, that's nothing. Nothing really... it's money.

What matters is that I can give back the love that I have received and make sure everyone around me and myself are safe. Let's be safe OK? Strong, well and safe.

Thanks Anja for reminding me of my true self and what's rightgeous. Thanks Nadine for never leaving my side, for being so strong and for wiping that black stuff off my face. Thanks Brenda and Eva for not letting me down. Thanks Eric for not going crazy, for giving me time to heal and for taking care. Thanks Ryan for putting that sweet, healing ointment on my soul and for making me feel beautiful again. Thanks Chris for your passion and for your honest talk. Thanks Justin for the dance and your interest in learning how to dive - I am so sorry about your nose!! Thank you Julia for understanding. And to everyone else who is keeping me in their thoughts. Be sure that you will always be in mine.

Thank you for your great love. I love you too.

Good night, breathe in this lovely summer-night air... I saw a little glowing bug. I'm going to bed!

Nikki